Narcissistic Without Apology
by Romeo's Waiting
Summary: OneShot. PDLD. He was her best friend. What she was oblivious to was that he was simply hers mind, body and soul.


_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gilmore Girls…_

_**Background: Okay this story is very AU. Umm…You have to know that Finn goes to Yale with Rory but Logan and Colin don't. Rory and Finn are best friends and he's dating Rosemary. It's set in the same time frame as GG but Rory never dropped out or took any internship because she hasn't met Logan in this story…The thing the guitar is just something I made up about how Finn wanted to play guitar but his father wanted him to be a business man so he gave it up during high school…**_

_**Other than that I think you're okay…So here's the story…**_

_**Narcissistic Without Apology**_

"There's something I haven't heard you play in a long time." A familiar voice echoed throughout the room and Finn smiled.

"Probably because I haven't played it in a long time, you idiot," Finn told him, lowering his eyes from his white ceiling to rest on Logan and Colin. "Been a while."

"Since you saw us, or since you let yourself play guitar?" Colin asked as he closed the door to Finn's bedroom and nodded toward the instrument.

Finn frowned as he studied what he was playing a little harder. It had been a long time since he'd picked up his guitar but when he thought back to why he stopped he groaned and placed the guitar down next to him.

He picked himself up and hugged both of them, his best mates since he was in grade school. He let Logan go and leaned over, grabbing a six pack of beer from the mini fridge in his room, taking one out and throwing the rest across to his friends.

"So, did you come here for a reason, or was it your alcohol radar?"

"Alcohol radar? I think that's your thing, Finn," Logan said with a grin as he cracked open his beer.

It had been a long time since he'd seen Finn, an even longer time since he'd seen him with a guitar in his hands. Finn's parents had done a real number on his friend in high school, leaving him no choice than to become a different man to the one Logan had known. College had taken them to different states, Finn at Yale, Logan and Colin at Harvard. Since high school they'd only seen him during the summers, or at LDB gatherings.

"So, mates, what's the deal? You sneak back here from old Boston, don't tell anyone…" Finn didn't let it bother him that Logan and Colin hadn't called him, he knew his friends liked spontaneity; he was a rather large fan of it himself.

"Had to get away from Harvard, place is insane." Finn grinned as he thought back to the night before they'd separated for college and how Logan had said the same thing. "Speaking of insanity…you wouldn't guess what kind of job the old man is making me do next year."

"Knowing him, and the relationship you two have, it's probably something akin to Chinese torture."

"First off, he calls me over for family dinner…tells me that he heard I wasn't named editor of The Harvard Crimson as of yet. Tells me it's my hide if I don't step up and start becoming responsible."

"And?" Finn said over the top of his beer and grinned as Colin rolled his eyes at how disgusting he was when some trickled down his chin.

"London." Colin said the word with contempt, knowing how much longer it would have taken for Logan to actually get the one word out.

"London?" Finn looked incredulous.

"As in me being the head of Huntzberger Publishing in their England office, a whole year of 'God Save the Queen' and Hello Magazine…all very droll. Want to know what's worse?" Finn leaned toward his friend and raised both his brows.

"What?"

"The bastard laid down an iron clad set of rules. I break even one of them and I have to say goodbye to my trust fund."

"Son of a bitch. At least they're hot, though," Finn slipped seamlessly from one subject to the next.

"Who?" Logan gave him a look that said he didn't know who he was talking about.

"The women."

"He's got you there, Huntz," Colin threw in and lay back on Finn's made up bed but then he all of a sudden shot up, a picture frame held in his hand. "Well, well, well, who's this lovely lady on Finn's nightstand?"

Logan, looking glad to have the conversation move from something other than London, leaned over and grabbed the picture from Colin. He let out a low whistle, his appreciative eyes sweeping over the girl in the frame.

"Details man," Colin pushed the subject, looking expectantly at Finn, though he knew that the Aussie was going to remain tight lipped through this one.

This girl was hot, but she had to be something more than that to be placed by his bed.

"This the girl your dating?" Colin asked opening another beer and eyeing his friend closely, getting the answer to his question more from the way he was averting his eyes than from what he said.

"Uh…no…she's just a friend…" he told them.

Because Rory Gilmore was only his friend…no matter how much more he wanted.

No matter how much he wanted her.

Not even in a dirty way…

He wanted to be with her, be around her. Wanted to make her laugh, wanted her pretty smiles shining in his direction. He wanted to lean down close to her, touch her in the intimate parts of her body, hidden from him everyday. He wanted to look deep into her alluring blue eyes, wanted them to be the last thing he saw before he claimed her lips…

Her succulent, sweet lips…The hours he'd spent fantasying of kissing her lips, tasting her finally. Something he'd only had the pleasure of doing once in reality…though he kissed her in his dreams, every single night.

Okay so maybe he wanted her in a dirty way to but…

God, he just wanted to call her his, once and for all.

But sadly it would never happen. He was her best friend, her mate, her confidant…What she was oblivious to was the fact that he was simply hers; mind, body and soul.

- - -

The three of them had moved from Finn's bedroom to pile onto the two leather couches in the common room. They were watching a rerun of Blue Collar TV when the door was slammed open and a beautiful brunette ran into the dorm.

"Finn!" she exclaimed and came over to him, her eyes lit up and her cheeks rosy from the nipping wind blowing outside. She jumped up onto his lap, wrapping one arm around his neck and smiling wide. "You're going to love me so much!"

Finn grinned and shifted her on his lap, his own arm slipping around her tiny frame. "Yeah, why's that?" he asked.

She bit her bottom lip and then shook her head, brown curls bouncing around on her shoulders. "Guess," she told him, innocent eyes staring up at him.

"You finally realized your love of theatre and are moving to Hollywood and in return shall send me back Alyson Hannigan as a going away present?" he said in all seriousness.

Rory laughed, rolling her eyes. "How would I send you Alyson Hannigan? I don't think she'd go via FedEx," she rationalized. "Plus why would you get a going away present I'm the one who's leaving!"

"Fine, kitten, who would you like?" he asked, pretending to think. "Heath Ledger? He's Australian!"

She raised an eyebrow and then shook her head. "I think I have all the Australian one girl can take," she told him, rubbing his hair affectionately.

"Be still my heart," he cried dramatically and Rory laughed even more and then sobered up and placed her palm flat against his chest.

"Serious moment now Finn," she told him, waiting until he focussed his attention back on her and everything else went silent, except for the TV still playing in the background. "I have secured your role as court jester in the upcoming Stars Hollow Renaissance festival!"

Finn's face cut into a wide smile and he grabbed her around the waist. "Abso-bloody-lutely fabulous, doll!" he exclaimed and then jumped up, spinning her around. "How did you do it?"

Rory tightened her hold on his shoulders and then shrugged. "Liz and TJ are behind the entire thing, so all I had to do was pay a very nice compliment towards TJ's shelves and he was eating out the palm of my hand," she explained cleverly.

"You're evil, devious, and I love you for it!" Finn said and finally put Rory back down, where she stumbled for a second before getting her footing.

"Well as long as you don't start singing 'Wind Beneath My Wings'," she told him and then sat back down on the couch, finally noticing the other people in the room, who had a mixture of amusement and confusion painted on their faces. "Finn?"

"Yes, doll?"

"Who are they?" She pointed over at the two unknown boys who did look familiar to her but she couldn't for the life of her place them.

Finn turned and smacked a hand against his forehead. "Where are my manners, my old mum would kill me for this!" he exclaimed and walked over, sitting down beside Rory, one arm lying comfortably on her shoulders. "Tweedledum and tweedledee," he introduced to which Colin scowled at him.

"Seems Finn has been hit on the head with a mallet…again," Colin remarked, earning a small smile from Rory.

"That or he's been taking a little too much to the…" Logan trailed off, making drinking gestures with his hands.

"Miming?" Rory asked, sharing the silent joke with herself as she remembered a time when her and her mom had had almost the same conversation.

"You're crazy, doll, you know that?" Finn asked to which Rory only rolled her eyes and folded her arms onto her lap. "Anyway, these are my mates, Logan and Colin."

Rory suddenly sprang up, her blue eyes wide and shining. "The rest of the Stooges!" she exclaimed and actually clapped her hands together in excitement. "I've heard so much about you guys!"

Logan smirked and leaned forward, turning on his Huntzberger charm. "I get that reaction from all the ladies," he boasted, rubbing his fingers on his chest. "So, what kind of stuff have you heard and would there be any chance you'd like to re-enact it?"

She only looked at him for a minute before blinking. "I'm guessing your Logan? Playboy extraordinaire," she stated and smirked. "Maybe we could re-enact the one time when you got really drunk and dressed up in girls' clothes! Makeup and all."

Colin almost choked on his drink and he and Finn started laughing at the priceless look on Logan's face. The blonde huffed and then sat back in the other chair, a scowl on his face.

"Seriously man, why would you tell her that?" he directed at Finn. "You don't tell hot girls about that!"

Rory raised an eyebrow at him before reaching over and covering Finn's mouth with her hand right when he was about to say something. She gave them both a look and shook her head. "Lets stop this now before it turns into a 'who can pee farther than who?' contest," she told them.

Colin, who had moved to a leather recliner so that he could have a better view of the argument, looked very disappointed for a moment before respect dawned on his face. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone –especially a girl– who was able to put Huntzberger in his place," he exclaimed and Rory beamed from his words.

"Well this one's special, mates," Finn said proudly, stretching out and lifting his feet onto the coffee table in front of the couch.

Logan studied her closer for a second, he knew she was the girl from the picture but he wanted to see what her reaction would be. "So, are you Finn's girlfriend? Rosemary?" he asked.

Rory frowned. "God no!" she told him, nose scrunched up for a moment before deflating and looking at Finn. "No offence, though," she said innocently, patting his leg.

Finn sighed and nodded at her, smiling tightly. He would never know himself if he was happy that Rory and Rosemary didn't get along. On one hand he hated that Rory would sometimes use Rose as an excuse not to come out with him and their friends. But on the other hand he was glad the two of them weren't all buddy-buddy with each other. Especially with the extenuating circumstances…meaning his unbidden feelings for Rory.

"What's so wrong about being with poor old me?" he asked, pretending to be hurt by her words, although if he was honest with himself he wasn't really pretending. "I'm exotic!"

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "It's not you Finny," she said, smile widening at his frown from her nickname. "I just don't like being compared to Rosemary. Even if it's a mistake, I could like lose brain cells."

Both Logan and Colin laughed, exchanging knowing looks with themselves. They both knew there was something definitely going on between their best friend and this girl. The chemistry they had alone was enough to prove that, even without the obvious flirting.

Rory looked over at them and held out her hands, waiting for them to each shake. "I'm Rory Gilmore, best friend," she told them very business like. "And unfortunately I have to go."

Finn frowned with disappointment before he covered it up and stood from the couch. "Just came to give me the good news?" he asked.

Rory nodded and hugged Finn, leaning up against him just a moment longer then need be, which both Logan and Colin noticed. Then she turned and waved at them before walking over to the door.

"Wait!" Logan called out and waited until she turned to them. "Did you say best friend?" he asked.

"Yep."

Logan knit his brow and then stood up and glared at Finn. "And here I thought we were your best friends," he teased, a phoney pout adorning his face.

Colin scoffed, playing along. "Betrayed for a girl," he said, shaking his head at Finn.

Rory laughed from the doorway. "Okay, guys, Finn can have more than one best friend," she said smartly. "Although, if it was a contest…I would so win!" she said bouncing on the heels of her feet.

"Why's that?" Logan asked, looking from Finn to Rory.

She smirked and pointed at herself. "Because I have breasts!" she exclaimed proudly before turning around and closing the door behind her.

Finn let out a loud laugh and then grinned up at his friends who were still staring at the door. "What do have to say about that?"

Logan shrugged but Colin sat down and looked over at him. "She's absolutely right," he agreed.

The door opened again and the three guys looked to see Rory pop her head back through the whole. "Why Alyson Hannigan?" she asked Finn.

He grinned. "Girl on girl, love," he told her as if that should explain everything which it apparently did as Rory rolled her eyes before disappearing again.

- - -

Finn was slowly making his way across campus, not having any idea where he was going exactly. All he knew was that he needed to get away from his dorm. Logan and Colin hadn't even been there a day and already they were driving him crazy.

Ever since Rory had left they'd started acting like total girls, wanting to know everything about her and their relationship. He thought back to when he'd left the apartment, smiling almost reverently as he remembered how he'd finally admitted his feelings.

"_Where'd you meet her?" Colin asked, watching Finn pace back and forth behind the couch. "The pub?"_

_Finn shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Believe it or not, it was the library," he told them, enjoying their looks of shock. "I couldn't concentrate with my roommate's friends over so I went there for some quiet time."_

"_So she's a bookie?" Logan asked. _

_Finn nodded, smiling as he thought over Rory's huge book collection and her incredible love for reading. "She doesn't leave her dorm without a book."_

"_You guys have a lot in common right? I mean you seem real close," Colin remarked, he'd always been good at reading people's relationships and seeing all the small things._

"_Rory's brilliant, she's hilarious and witty. Some things she'll say and I won't have any clue in the world what she's talking about. Huge movie fan to, introduced me to Gilmore Movie Night and something called the sugar coma," he said, finally stopping his pacing and leaned back against the wall. "You'd like her, Logan, she'd gonna be a reporter. Gonna run off to third world countries and report on the news with explosions and wars all around her."_

"_Very interesting," Logan cut in, a thoughtful look on his face. "My dad might like her, the next Nic Robertson."_

_Finn laughed but shook his head. "As Rory so eloquently put it earlier, she's a girl, Huntz. The next Christiane Amanpour is more like it."_

"_So Finn," Colin started and let his face cloud with seriousness. "This girl seems perfect for you. Plus, we've talked to her and seen the two of you together."_

"_Definite attraction," Logan chimed in. _

"_Why aren't you dating her?" Colin asked and they both watched Finn who's face blanked for a minute before he looked up, not meeting their eyes. _

"_Because I'm in love with her," he said truthfully before walking out of the dorm, leaving Logan and Colin behind, stunned. _

Finn had never before said the words out loud, let alone to anyone else. He thought about them, overanalysed them to the point that his head was hurting more than after a night of heavy drinking. He'd admitted it to himself that he was in love with his best friend, with Rory…

But he couldn't believe he'd told Logan and Colin.

And he couldn't believe how easy it was.

He'd spent months denying it to himself before he'd acknowledged his own feelings, but he'd still only remained her friend. It seemed everyone had known about his feelings, everyone except Rory and his actually girlfriend, Rose. He'd denied every accusation thrown at him, even the ones from Logan and Colin earlier that day.

But finally saying those words out loud, finally freeing himself of the burden of hiding them from the world. It was liberating, it was intoxicating and it had cleared his mind from the fog that had settled over it lately.

He couldn't bury his feelings anymore; he couldn't be her friend, not just her friend.

But first there was something a lot more pressing. He couldn't have a girlfriend when he was in love with someone else.

- - -

Finn collapsed against her door, his head pounding and an angry red cut on his forehead. He lifted his fist and knocked it against her door heavily, not having the energy to move.

"Finn?" Rory asked and he looked up to meet her eyes seeing them cloud with confusion and concern immediately. "What happened?" she asked, latching onto his arm and pulling him into her dorm.

Finn let her sit him down on her couch and watched as she walked over to the makeshift kitchen to wet a cloth for him. He slowly took in the dim light in the common room and brought his attention over to the window to his right.

"What time is it?" he asked her, suddenly confused over how long he'd been at Rose's. She lived in Branford house with Rory and so he hadn't noticed how dark it was outside until now.

"Just after twelve," Rory told him as she came back to him, cloth in her hand.

Finn nodded and shrugged out of his jacket, finally letting his eyes rest on the girl who'd occupied his thoughts the entire day. He took in her appearance and he felt his breath being knocked out of him as every other thought drifted away, until there was only her.

She probably hadn't realized she was standing in front of him in such revealing clothes. She was way too focussed on him, which his selfish side was overjoyed with. But Finn wasn't sure he liked the fact that she was so exposed in front of him.

Certain parts of him were quickly growing very excited at seeing her porcelain skin covered in a body skimming, blue silk nightgown. With lace decorating the hem that reached her knees and the top of the gown, the neckline teasing him as it dropped down to the valley between her breasts.

Finn shifted uncomfortably as she sat down beside, the gown straining against her chest and the hem gliding up her leg and exposing more of her milky thighs. He suddenly couldn't feel the pounding of his chest or the stinging from the cut on his face. All he could feel was how painfully tight his pants were, all he could concentrate on was how much he wanted to rip the nightgown off of her and kiss her senseless.

"Finn!"

He jumped as her voice abruptly cut into his thoughts and he was alerted to the fact that he'd completely zoned out.

"Where were you just now?" she asked innocently.

He shook his head, trying to mentally give himself a cold shower. He counted to ten in his mind before opening his eyes, looking over at her once again. She had leaned back onto her hands so that she could look into his eyes. Her brown hair was messy and tumbling over her shoulders, her eyes glassy from sleep but swimming with concern.

He bit down painfully hard on the inside of his mouth, slipping his jacket down over his lap, trying not to give away his obvious discomfort.

He watched her study him for a moment longer before she shook her head. Rory brought the cloth back to his face and gently worked at his cut. He remained patient until she'd finished and then let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as she returned to the kitchen.

Although a minute later she came out holding a plate and offered it to him. "Cake?"

"What?" Finn asked, restraining himself from letting his eyes wander to her exposed legs, instead focussing on her beautiful face. "Cake?"

"Cake, light and fluffy, good, usually has icing all over it and is consumed on birthdays or special occasions," she explained dipping her finger into said icing and wrapping her lips around the finger.

He had to turn away from the tempting sight. His treacherous mind showing him many different foods he'd loved to feed her.

Strawberries…chocolate…whipped cream…honey…

"Finn?" Rory asked yet again, breaking him from his very x-rated thoughts. "Are you drunk?"

He couldn't be more grateful for those words. A smirk settled onto his features and he cocked his head to the side. "Really kitten, you should know better."

She laughed, holding a hand to her heart. "What was I thinking? A much more appropriate question…Are you sober?"

"Maybe…a little," he told her his face a mask of guilt. "Don't tell anyone though, flush my reputation down the crapper."

Rory wrinkled her nose at his choice or words, making Finn smile at the adorable picture she made. "So, are you going to tell me what happened?"

He frowned at her change of the subject, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to avoid that question forever. The cut on his forehead was enough incentive for her to be curious as to what happened to him exactly.

"You and the boys didn't get into a fight did you?" she guessed but Finn shook his head.

"No this wound was made by claws," he told her vaguely thinking back to the bad break up with him and Rosemary. For the kind of girl she was she sure had a hell of a temper and Finn recalled painfully, a real good aim.

"You got attacked?" she asked, her disbelief showing on her face.

"By a lamp," he told her, smirking ever so slightly at her obvious confusion. "Rosemary didn't take to kindly to me ending our relationship."

Rory's eyes widened dramatically as she reached out to ghost her fingers over the cut. "Rose did that to you?" she asked incredulously. "She threw a lamp at you?"

Finn nodded sagely. "Threw some other things but I managed to dodge those."

Rory just stared at him, seemingly not believing it was possible, and he would have been in the same boat as her had he not been on the receiving end of Rosemary's anger. She closed her eyes and shook her head, but then a smile slowly spread onto her face.

"You broke up with her?" she asked timidly, brushing her hair out of her face.

Finn grinned and leaned in closer to her. "I broke up with her," he echoed her words, his voice dropping to a purr.

He watched as her cheeks coloured and she met his eyes shyly. He couldn't for the life of him remember what he'd wanted to back that statement up with. Being in such close proximity to her was clouding his mind, leaving only his insane urge to finally have her, finally kiss her.

With one last look into the stunning blue eyes, which were silently begging him to erase the distance between them, Finn leaned down and brushed his lips across hers. He kept the kiss light, softly coaxing a response out of her. He brought one hand up to the side of her neck, cupping it and angling her head back so he could claim her lips completely.

When he felt her lips slowly move against his own, Finn couldn't stop the noise that rumbled up from his chest. The pleasure strumming through his body was like nothing he'd ever imagined. He'd kissed her once before, at a Christmas party and underneath the mistletoe, just a peck on the lips. But it couldn't hold a flame to this.

And yet just as he swept his tongue out to deepen the kiss Rory broke away from him. Completely. Within seconds she was off the couch and standing five feet away.

The crushed expression that leaked onto his face was something Finn couldn't stop. He knew his eyes were giving away everything but he just kept looking at her. She was shaking her head, fingers pressed against her lips and her eyes glued to him.

"What was that?" she finally asked, her voice a little more high pitched than natural. "We just…Oh my God, we just kissed!"

Finn swore under his breath, standing up from the couch and walking over to her. "I'm sorry, Rory, I shouldn't have…I didn't want to just kiss you…well I mean I wanted to kiss you but I wanted to tell you something before…" he ranted, one hand running through his hair in frustration and the other gesturing wildly.

What stopped him though was the shy smile on Rory's face. "You wanted to kiss me?" she asked him hesitantly and Finn wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her.

He exhaled loudly and met her eyes. "Yes," he admitted. "For so long, it's all I ever think about, love."

Rory looked blown away by his confession and Finn gave her a minute to digest before he went on. "But I shouldn't have just kissed you. I wanted to tell you everything before that, not just treat you like any other girl," he tried to explain.

"Finn," Rory asked him, her voice wavering slightly. "What did the kiss mean to you?"

He paused and then smiled at her, leaning down and letting his hand run through her hair, toying with the ends. "Everything," he whispered truthfully.

He was prepared for the shock and surprise to register on her face. He was even prepared for the distress and as much as it hurt he was trying to prepare himself for her rejection.

What he wasn't prepared for was the smile shining up at him or the happiness glittering in her eyes.

"I was so hoping you would say that," she told him before reaching up and curling her hands around his neck, bringing his mouth down to hers again.

He was frozen in amazement for moment before he responded to her kiss. He pulled her up against his chest; both arms locked around her and deepened the kiss. He smiled against her lips when he heard her moan and then shivered when she smiled to.

They separated from each other, but stayed close, holding on. He let his eyes sweep over her face, cheeks flushed, lips swollen, hair mussed. She was beautiful.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that," he told her smiling so wide he thought his jaw might crack.

Rory brought her hand up into his hair, rubbing it like she always did. "I think I might have an idea," she told him softly before capturing his lips with hers again.

Finn responded eagerly, kissing the woman he loved. He finally felt like he'd found what he'd been missing all his life. It hadn't been playing guitar, or his unbidden dreams of becoming a part of a famous rock band. It hadn't been going to college with his best mates or joining the LDB.

It was the girl nestled perfectly in his arms, it was Rory.

And now he finally had her…

- - -

**A/N: I can't believe I finally finished this! I wanted to get something up for you guys before I go on holidays…which I leave for in about 30 minutes! **

**This is just a one-shot that I had stuck in my head for a while, not sure how good it is, considering its AU status. Although I hope you all like it and please review, it'll be nice to come back home to my inbox full of comments. **

**I read through this before posting but if there are any mistakes…I didn't type it! Blame my sister!**

**Hugs and Kisses,  
-Ella**


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